Just in case you missed it, in my last post when i said,
"Even though I say I think we've tried everything, I'd still love any encouragement or advice anyone has to offer....."
that was me, asking for some encouragement and advice.
(If you're praying for us, thanks, the last 24 hrs have been much better.)
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3 comments:
jo-jo. sorry i didn't comment. but i will now. i'm so sorry you're still dealing with soph hurting ella. i will for sure be praying that the hurting will stop and your sanity will return. i love you, jo. and you can't believe how often i think of you and pray for you guys. hugs and kisses. lea
I've been praying-- I'm glad to hear today was better. You've been so creative and insightful in dealing with parenting challenges since Day One, sweet Jo. You will get through this, too. Most of the time when a toddler acts out like that, they're looking for a reaction and the best approach is to not give them that satisfaction... The BIG problem with the hurtful behaviour is that you HAVE to react to protect/comfort Eleanor. I'll pray for wisdom for you and P.W. to help Soph to understand that riling up her sister only serves to take more time and energy away from all the lovely things you'd rather be doing with her. Be aware that your daughters still adore eachother. This speaks volumes-- Eleanor is not taking this personally, it's just part of her world. She's going to be fine. You're going to be fine, too. I'm rooting for you. -S.
Hey I don't know anything about this sort of thing so here's some stuff I found on the internet:
Hi I know this is quite a terrifying thought but have you tried encouraging nice play together where your older child is 'helping' or 'teaching' the new baby? This is what I did with my two and it was tricky to keep close control but it gave my eldest a sense of protecting the little one and now she's lovely with her. You can get the eldest to pick out toys the little one will like rather than touching and stroking, or my daughter loved to bounce the baby bouncer. Other than that the only other thing I did was let them play and give loads of praise when they were nice and just stop play dead when it got rough. I didn't punish or tell her off, just stopped the nice play for a minute and say 'no be gentle', then continue the nice play and praise again. She got the hang of it but it took a bit of perseverence and a lot of undivided attention. I think the key is to stick with what you choose to do, to give it time to work - I know its tempting to try something else when one thing doesnt work but it can confuse a toddler. Good luck though I know it's hard! Katie x
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sarah
Re: older child hurting new baby
20/09/2007
hi there my friend had this problem she then got adviced to get the older child to help with tasks like passing the nappy and cream when changing the baby or passing toys and making dinner eg; passing vegatables and explaining that u are making dinner for the baby and how grown up he is helping, its hard because the older child seems to feel left out even if u are doing ur best to not single them out its just the way they think isnt it? interaction is the best key get them to play together and encourage him into most activities with the baby it worked for my friend the kids have a very good bond now and find it hard being aprt from each other ....oh and bathtime is a really good one to get the older one to help bath the baby i hope this helps hun.....sarah and emily (1 yr old)
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ines
Re: older child hurting new baby
26/09/2007
Hi Louise, hope you get this coz you posted it a while ago. I agree with your other postings - making sure you get your eldest to help with baby, but I'd like to also add - make sure your eldest gets special time without baby around. I know its hard - I've been there too but I found my eldest was only doing the same things you mentioned to get attention. Kids will take any attention you throw at them - including shouting, smacking, etc. As soon as they realise going close to new baby gets them attention, it will happen again and again. I used "the look" if Ciara started getting to rough and she soon got bored. My 2 are now thick as thieves and Lucy is hard as nails coz of the rough and tumble they constantly have. Hope it gets better for you soon, I remember the stress very very clearly. Ines, Ciara 3 1/2 and Lucy 1. x
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