does whatever a tired mummy can....

this is ridiculous. i should be brushing my teeth, as any minute now Eleanor is going to really lose it...but I have taken a quick minute as this is really the only minute of the day I have had without someone needing me, and now she is really crying...
i took two minutes to look at some blogs i like to read and one had this:

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% Wonder Woman 68% Superman 65% Supergirl 48% Robin 45% The Flash 45% Green Lantern 40% Iron Man 40% Hulk 35% Batman 25% Catwoman 10%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz


I do not feel super at all. today it seemed like everyone was peeing on everything all day and there was no time for anything but kids. the dishes are not done, the laundry is not put away, and the baby is really crying now. but i am spiderman so i shall swing off to bed and conquer my evil enemies in the morning....
(and secondly, i am wonderwoman)

the things we say

My sister Caroline, who has five lovely, lively kids, told me once that you say things as a parent that you never, ever thought you would say. She once sent me a hilarious email with a list of all the things she had said that week to her boys. (She has four boys, and now one little girl, the princess Sarah.) I wish I could remember them all, my favourite one was:
"No, you cannot have my sandwich, you puked on yours."

I thought of this this morning, when I heard Wade say to Sophia, "Stop Sophia! Stop! You cannot walk down the stairs with a mask on!" She had found Wade's sleep mask and was making her way down our (hard wood! rail-less!) stairs.

I am pretty sure before I had kids I also never said things like:
"Don't stick that bread up your nose."
"Stop hitting the cat with your hammer."
"Dora, please take off your backpack and sit in your eating chair for bunny noodles."
"We don't throw trains at the baby in our house."

If you've said a great sentence lately, let me know.

P.S. I will do a post about Eleanor soon!

fairies and the 'no

Yesterday we participated in an event called 'birthfest'
with our soap company. Wade worked his butt off setting it all up and then Eleanor and I went and manned (or womanned)the table. It was so fun to just be out,talking to people and showing off Eleanor, and I do like selling our soap. We shared a table with Sandra and we had a blast talking up each other's fabulous wares. It seemed like an awesome time of connection with people too, and there were some good leads for how we can do more with our soap and build relationships too (which is the point of why we're doing the soap thing as YWAMers anyway.)

At the end of the day I found out that I had won one of the door prizes -
well the coolest door prize, actually! It was a basket of gifts from a
company called natural pod. It had some beautiful little wooden toys and a gorgeous pair of sheepskin slippers from NZ for Eleanor, and a felted ball, a little silk I gave to Sophia. But the best thing was the DOLL.



That's right, that is a handmade, organic $110.00 doll, and yes, she does have rainbow dreads! Her hair is made of silk remnants woven by people in Nepal! Ours is like the one above, but her wings are prettier, our has even better, more colourful,
beautiful hair, and ours is wearing a fabulous tutu made of purple tulle! I have hidden it, along with a little blanket that came with it too, and I think we will give it Sophia for Easter - grand prize in the Easter egg hunt n'est pas?.... If she is half as excited as I am about it, we will be having fun for sure.

When we came home from birthfest, this is the conversation I had with Sophia:
(she greeted me at the top of the stairs wearing my scarf)
S: "Hi Mum, you want to come out in the 'no with me?"
J: "Ooh, you're going out in the snow?"
S: "Yeah, get your 'carf on." (we got scarves and got them on.)
J: "Sophia, I think I'm going to have a cup of tea, would you like one?"
S: "Yes, thank you so much!"
J: "How did you get to be so polite?"
S: "Because I am so 'pecial!"
laughing and hugging ensued....

(not every moment of the day is like this, for sure - but these are the ones I like writing about)

safe

Sophia saved me yesterday. I was going to lose it several times and she just saved me. I can't remember what she said or even did specifically, but just that she brought me back from the edge of diving into annoyance, frustration, despair. At one point I was so mad I just yelled a huge yell to the air and the traffic and my stupid stroller... It made her cry (oh! it was awful!)and just seeing her face...then I realized she was crying because she dropped her stickers too...but it brought me back, back to who I want to be as a mum, back to what was really important about the day. She is such a gift.
Lately all that has been so tempered with all her angst, and just defending Eleanor from her that I forgot how potent it was, her sweetness, her joy in the basic, her absolute delight in riding the sky train, pushing the buttons on the elevator, getting four chocolate buttons...reading stories. She is my joy. And now I have 2 daughters...what will Eleanor be like? What a gift....

Today a friend sent an email with quotes of what children said when they were asked to describe what love is. This one is my favourite:
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

May your name be safe in someone's mouth today.

they never teach this in bible school, i'm sure

One of the things that Sophia has picked up on is that when we are sore or injured or even sad, we pray for one another. This has proven to be a source of some really lovely moments over the last few months, as all we need to do is even mention we have some kind of ache or pain and Soph will pray.

Last Wednesday my dear brother was in a pretty serious car accident. He was driving the van for the theatre company he tours with and they hit black ice. Despite Mat's best efforts, the van went off the road and flipped, and it was declared miraculous by the attending police officers that a) they all walked out of the van, and b) that Matthew didn't (literally) lose his head. When Mat came home and told Soph about the crash and his subsequent sore back, he was immediately blessed by a small hand laid upon him and faithful prayers for his sore back...lovely indeed.

Night before last Soph inquired as to how I was doing, as in the weeks after Eleanor's birth I was really uncomfortable with engorgement. Those of you who are faithful readers of this blog know Soph still nurses at bedtime and of her love for the same. Due to the amused response I got last time, I will take the risk of posting two 'spiritual boobie' stories in the same month...

"Mum, your boobies still hurt?"
"No, they don't. Thank you very much for praying for me. I think God heard your prayers."
"Mum, did Jesus check out your boobies?"
(Insert Mum recovering her I'm-not-going-to-laugh-because-I-want-to-catch-this-teachable moment-face)
"Yes, sweetheart, I think Jesus did check out my boobies and helped them feel all better."
Some kind of nod of affirmative response from Soph...

Hooray for two year olds and for simple faith.

By the way...
i am digging my new 'neo flags' counter on the blog, and i'm curious to know who is reading. I'm pretty sure i know who is reading from switzerland and japan, but not sure who is reading from the UK, germany and croatia! I also just would love to hear from you, canada and the USA, so leave me a comment when you can.

good eats

We went out for supper last night to celebrate Wade's birthday. He posted about it today, complete with cel phone pics. check it out at www.diygourmet.ca

At one point in the meal Soph stopped and said, "Those ladies are watching me eat." We turned around and sure enough, three lovely malaysian waitresses were all standing in a row watching Soph party down on her supper. We all did the laugh, smile and nod to each other. Maybe they don't get many 2 1/2 year old white kids eating the spicy soup, sucking back the squid, mastering the chopsticks and smearing the roti canai sauce all over their happy faces. (Tho' she still asked to go to McDonald's today...sigh.) It was fun - Eleanor's first restaurant too!

i hope i remember this stuff....

Soph has started calling the TV the 'T. V. vision'. She also says "chlocclate".

what Eleanor is not

Yesterday we went to YWAM to introduce Eleanor to all our buddies there. It was an awesome staff meeting with lots of very exciting things happening. It was so busy though, that we got to the end and people were jumping up to go.

I yelled, "Stop, stop, you have to meet Eleanor...it's the whole reason we came - hey everyone, we had a baby!" Wade piped up and said, "Yeah, it's not like making a casserole, you know!"

Everyone, of course, stopped to ooh & ah. Sophia, however, misinterpreted her Dad's 'casserole' comment, and as poeple came to see Eleanor (and then throughout the day at subsequent introductions) Sophia shouted to anyone who would listen, "She is not a cake!".

happy half-birthday, soph!

Today Sophia turned exactly 2 and a half! It was also our first day hanging out with just the girls (me Soph and Eleanor), as Wade worked a roadie shift all day and his Mum headed home yesterday. We did really well, I was really blessed - I 'm also so blessed my brother bought me a snazzy new sling that saved me a couple times when I needed to cuddle Eleanor and needed to help Soph as well.

The other fabulous thing was that Uncle Leigh came over and we took our incredible new stroller for a test drive for Eleanor's first walk. We all took it easy and celebrated Soph's half-birthday with a mini lemon pie in the park and then some time on the swings. It is so great, and it was so nice to go for a walk after two weeks inside. Here is Soph testing out the "big sister seat" on the stroller with Wade last night.



We also got a care package from our dear friend Heather today for my birthday and new baby congrats. I can barely get thank you cards written and Heather is one of those amazing people who not only remebered me, but made exquisite hand made cards for each of us, and then sent of a whole box of thoughtful, yummy, gorgeous (and more handmade!) gifts for everyone. Wow...I've been so blown away by all of you who have written, called, sent gifts and cards, brought meals, we are so blessed. (Have I said lately we're blessed?)

Here is Soph with her two goodies, goldfish crackers and big sister jammies! It was ironic as she totaly boycotted her nap, (thanks for praying, i stayed pretty chilled out) and then she got up, opened these, put them on and said, "I'm going to bed."





And Eleanor is a champion - here we are celebrating A. Eleanor Joie Pallister's super baby neck strength...isn't she cute?

10 good things about today

1. Sophia did not hit Eleanor all day. (We had a near biting incident, but she got me instead and after we amended the note to say "Don't Hurt Me" [see yesterday's post] we were fine.)

2. Soph and I played playdough and she made Eleanor a wicked playdough birthday cake.

3. The trees on Victoria Dr outside my window are starting to bud.

4. Sophia discovered that if you hold her mouth in different ways when you cough it makes different noises.

5. The colour green that Wade painted the walls in our room the week before Eleanor was born is so lovely it changes about 4 times a day as the light in the room changes.

6. A guy in a chicken restaurant on Hastings St. gave Sophia a ball that has lights and noise when you bounce it that she shared with the neighbour boy (Eli, not Dennis the Menace)

7. Wade is growing a beard that has wicked silver highlights.

8. I went out of the house! For coffee! With a friend! On her birthday!

9. Wade finally slept. Me too (a little) and Soph went to bed like a champ, no bribes, no tantrums.

10. I have a baby girl who is so soft and schmoopie and gorgeous and mellow and placid and bright and incredibly yummy and amazing I would do all this again (at least) twice for her.

sign of the times

Okay everybody, keep praying. This morning, EVERY time Sophia was near Eleanor she smacked her or hit her or poked her in the eye. She did have an absolutely fabulous time with her Nana out at the drop in centre, but by the time I managed to put Sophia down for a nap I had to go up to my room, open my window up all the way and look at the mountains, recite what I could remember of Psalm 121, look at the tiny piece of ocean I can see and pretend I was on a boat.

Finally I got out the sibling rivalry book that was recommended to me..not too much in there about really young kids, except this one idea: if you have one child that can talk and the other is non-verbal, you get the talking kid to write a note FOR the little one saying what the little one would say if they could talk. Get it? So, when Sophia got up from her nap, I asked her to write a note for Eleanor to help her "talk".



This is Eleanor wearing a sign that (according to Sophia) says: "Don't Hit Me".
Hey, you laugh, but Eleanor didn't get beaten at all this afternoon. I bet you that baby's gonna beg for another sign tomorrow.

Soph and I also had a great afternoon as Eleanor slept, doing lots of playing and reading and pretending. It was really great to get to spend some time with her just one-on-one and I was able to climb down from the rafters by the time Wade got home.

Love you guys, thanks for your emails and phone messages and comments. Even if I haven't answered yet, I have been out of my house only once since Feb 10, so you're my lifeline.....

Thank God

We're all stil adjusting to each other. Wade and I are trying to figure out how to deal with our usually well-behaved child who now freaks out over the slightest thing. We're getting grace moment by moment, but it is pretty heart breaking to watch Sophia not know what to do with herself at times. Knowing that you, our family ALL over the world read this blog and love us and pray for us, gives me a sense of community in a way I didn't know technology could provide. We're doing well.

Last night at bedtime, due to an epic freak out the night before, we took things really gently and slowly. We wound up all four of us (4, yep, 4 of us now) in my and Wade's bed. Did stories and then Sophia was nursing and Eleanor was sleeping on Wade. It was moment of absolute bliss after a tiring day and I was so grateful.

I began to pray out out loud, thanking God for all the good things in our lives. I stopped and said to Sophia, "Is there anything you would like to thank God for?" and she pointed to me, tapping on my chest. Touched, I said, "Mummy?" and she said, "No, boobies." Wade said, "Amen."

peaceful?

Does this look like a baby who's sister hit her in the head with a new train engine today? Yep, she's pretty amazing, an angel indeed, and apparently not an easy bruiser.

Emotional day....I was all over the map, cried like a baby when my Mum and Dad left. I feel so deeply for Soph, who is dealing with a wacky sleep schedule and all the changes by still swinging back and forth between adoration and attack. She is so great, and so sensitive and so intent. Sigh...

One thing for Soph is all the presents the grandparents bought her. Last count was -
Sophia: three new Thomas engines, two big Thomas trains you race on the floor, a periscope, a teddy bear, a lunch box, a colouring book, slippers, a huge bag of mega blocks and a Thomas DVD.
Eleanor: 4 baby face cloths, one dress.
Good thing Eleanor has no idea.

Good thing you are reading this and loving and praying for Soph and all of us, thanks, we're doing well...

Sophia is a big sister!!!!!!!!

Our beautiful new daughter Eleanor was born on Monday night, Feb 12 at 9:35pm.

Big sister Sophia had been labouring with me earlier in the evening, breathing along, and demanding that the midwife check HER baby too when she came to check Mum. Soph went to bed and Eleanor was born...it was so normal, and quiet and lovely.

It was an incredible experience to give birth a second time. It was better than I imagined it could be. And it was SO powerful and strong and intense and great...so much better over 7 hours than over 50-plus... My sister-friend and doula Sandra, (who I never want to have a baby without) who among many other things is the most beautiful writer I know, composed this entry on her "truth and beauty" blog about our labour.

Sophia seemed totally unsurprised she was there the next day - we had said she would be, right? Soph adores her, she said tonight "I love my baby sister." She has however, been wavering back and forth behaviourally between a calm helper and acting like a raging jet-lagged drunken businessman being thrown off a plane. "No, I"M the baby! I want to sleep in the baby's bed!" More sleep and prayer will help that for all of us, we're sure, and we couldn't be happier, just pretty tired.

Wade is my Valentine forever...having a homebirth means that Wade has done all the helping me to the bathroom and all the other post-birth Mum stuff, helping with Soph and the babe and all the household stuff including all the laundry after the birth too... He should get an award. We have help coming soon, and in the meantime he remains my hero, my knight, better than I ever thought you could get in a Dad and a husband, and that is saying something, because my own Dad is pretty superhuman too.

And of course, I have a new daughter...unbelievable. I am in awe...physically uncomfortable, starry eyed and in love with my family...gotta go, Eleanor is squeaking....



Sophia meets Eleanor, early yesterday morning



She was easily as excited to get her "big sister" present....



Okay, actually more excited, it was a new train.




Angela Eleanor Joie Pallister



Soph and Eleanor hanging out, with the duck Sophia got for Eleanor.

more photo fun

Here are some more photos from our 'pregnancy' photo shoot.
No baby yet, we'll keep you posted!
If you'd like to order copies of these, please go to our friend Sandra's website.

notes from the week

Well, one week today the new babe is due. I think it'll be late, but it has been quite a journey over the last month getting ready mentally and emotionally a far as Soph is concerned. I've gone from mourning the last vestiges of her baby-hood to really just enjoying these last days with just her. I can't wait to see who the new little one is, and I know Soph will be good big sister. I get emotional thinking about what I would do if I didn't have my little sisters so I know there is no doubt this is a gift from God and the right thing for us now, just incomprehensible beforehand in all it's wonder and sleep deprivation...

Also Soph is turning into a big kid now. Well, not really. My dear friend Mark always used to say about his little girls that if you asked them "Who's big?" and they say "I am!" then they are technically still small. From that test Soph is still little (phew!) but a few things over the past week make me realize how fun and funny - and real! - it is she is growing so fast.

- We were shopping this week and it had been quite a long day. Soph was sitting in the front of a shopping cart with her head resting on her arms when she stopped a woman walking past her and said "'Scuse me sir, you do a favour?" The woman said, yes, and Soph replied "You come a sweep this floor and sweep all this floor?" The woman responded that Soph would need to find someone in a uniform to do so. The woman seemd puzzled and slightly amused. I thought it was hysterical.

- Today at church someone wanted to say hello to her so she obligingly gave them a hug and then she said. "I have a father and a mummy. My father is Wade. My mamma name Je-ana. I a big sister. I two and a half." Yep, apparently she has been gathering intel on us and she is ready to spill.

- She has a dress-up mousie which this week she decided to name "Gumdrop." Considering the fact that everything else that has come into the house in the last 2 months has inexplicably been dubbed "Nina", I found the sudden burst of originality a thrill.

- Yesterday we went swimming in the pool and she was just so cool. She floated with Uncle Mat's water wings on and "swam" so well (with me hanging on, of course, but there was head back, kicking action!). Afterwards we went to Dairy Queen and she ate her first Dilly Bar. I have very strong Dilly Bar childhood memories from the DQ in Rutland, and it was fun to watch her discovery. "Mama it has a stick, for licking." "It has a belly button!".

- We stood and looked for an extended period of time at Thomas the Train stuff in a toy shop window and talked about the different trains and sets. It felt like a very big kid thing to do. She ran all down the street afterwards singing and talking about the Percy the engine with the lights and sounds. Don't tell her, but we already bought it for her. It's the present that the baby is going to "give her" when he/she is born. That should buy some credit in bigsisterland for the little gaffer for sure.

So she is doing great, and seems to be as ready for a new baby as you get when you're 2, still, keep her in your thoughts and prayers in the next couple weeks for the big transition, okay? Thanks fans, love you and love it when you leave us a comment too..




Sandra, Sophia and I showing off our supper last week. Yes, she also wants to sit in a "big girl chair" now too....

photo shoot

This past Saturday we had a photo shoot with our one of our dearest friends, Sandra Vander Schaaf.She is not only an incredible friend, she is a professional photographer, writer, Wade's dread technician (yep, she did 'em!) and permanent dinner guest. Everything she does is art and this time was no exception. We haven't seen the whole lot, but here are the first few photos she sent us today. While it was meant to be a bit of a 'pregnancy' photo shoot, it is quickly apparent that best photos are not of Wade and I...enjoy!

A note of professional courtesy: these photos are sized for viewing online and not a good file size for printing. All of the photos are copyrighted to SandraVander Schaaf
Photography. Should you wish to use, copy or buy any of these prints,please contact Sandra at www.onceuponalifetime.ca
You can also see photos of us both before and after Sophia's birth there too.

blue loves me

The other day Sophia told me she loved me for the first time. This was the first time that she has initiated the thought, I mean, as opposed to her saying "I love you" in response to us saying it first.
The only thing about it was that at the time she was pretending to be Blue, the puppy from the TV show Blue's Clues. Sophia often pretends that I am Joe, one guy from the show, Wade is Steve, the other guy from the show, and she is Blue. For example, when Wade went to Seattle last time she actually said "Where's Steve?" when she was asking for Wade.
So she was hugging me and she said, "I Love you, Joe, I Love you, Joe." I was so touched, but I couldn't get over the fact that this lovely moment was happening and she was calling me the name of an over-enthusiastic TV host who hangs out in front of a blue screen all day. I actually did say, "Can you say it again, and call me Mum?" So she humoured me and said, " I love you Mum." Then she said, "I love you, Joe."

snowmen, pedals, and stripey tights

We've got snow here this week again. During the last snowfall our downstairs neighbours built a great snowman in the front yard and it became a daily activity to check in on it. This time when Sophia woke up to snow she looked outside and said "Where's the snowman?" I had to explain that they don't just come down with the snow, that someone has to build them. We decided to build these ones out of playdough. They are a Daday snowman and a Sophia snowman. Please note the Daddy snowman's dreads.



Speaking of Daddies, there was much joy in our house this week when we figured out there was enough money in the "gear" savings account to buy the bass guitar pedal Wade has been dreaming of for four years. This is the moment when Wade brought it home and told Sophia it was a new toy. She began jumping up and down and said, "Play your guitar, Dad! Make a party dance! Make a party dance!"



When we were on tour in 2003 there was a little girl we loved who always wore fabulous stripey tights. I remeber thinking if I had a little girl I would love her to have some too. Look at that....
By the way, Sophia eats a lot of pretend ice cream. Here's another cone of pretend love.

this year on new year's eve, wade was in seattle and sophia and i settled in to watch the movie 'cars' for a treat. she liked it after a few viewings, but the first time she got bored and wanted to fingerpaint. then she decided to get naked and paint herself, like the pigs do on one of her favourite books, 'the pig's weddding'. usually i make her pretend, but i figured it was a special occasion, and boy did she get into it! in the book the pigs hose off and paint fancy clothes on themsleves for a wedding, including glasses, watches, etc. we cropped the image above for internet viewing, but let's just say the full body one will be in her wedding slideshow for sure.




sophia and i baked two pumpkin cheesecakes for her god mother, angela's birthday this past week. soph is so great at helping in the kitchen. here she is decorating her cake. you should have tasted them, they were amazing!